How many of you struggle with being patient & present during the process? I know I do. I was the kid who couldn't wait to get out of high school to go to college, and then once in college, I couldn't wait to get out of college to go into my "real life"...only to look back and wish I enjoyed the process more. Growing up, getting married, going through career changes, having children, watching your children grow up... how quickly that sobers you up to the fact that this is it! We really only have this moment.

I often hear parents wish they could speed up time and get over the newborn phase, the toddler phase, the diaper-changing phase.. and don't get me wrong, I often wish I had the remote control in Adam Sandler's not-so-great but wonderfully enlightening movie "Click" and just fast forward through the homework/dinner/bath-time battles so the kids can be asleep and I can finally listen to my true crime podcast in peace (while doing the dishes, of course). But if I learned anything from that movie… it’s to not mess around with that cursed remote control!

One of the most important ways I’ve learned this lesson is through my fitness journey. Once upon a time, I wished I could speed through time and reach my “ideal body” - whatever that is.. I grew up with no examples of how to be active and take care of my body. Despite comments from my mom and my family about my weight as a child, nobody seemed to be able to give me the tools to be healthier. Since I was already overweight, I figured it gave me permission to be less active and eat more since that was the expectation anyway.

As a teenager and adult, I would try different diets, diet pills, diet teas - one time, I took a cheap over-the-counter diet pill that made my heart race so fast I thought it was going to pop out of my chest and instantly regretted it because I would rather be alive than be society’s definition of “skinny”. Throughout the years, my weight yo-yoed from drastic weight-loss to drastic weight-gain. I could never seem to reach that unachievable “ideal weight” and would give up and gain back 25 pounds instantly. I hated the process and I hated not reaching my goal even more.

Three years ago, I was ready to try losing weight again. I signed up for a six week 20lb challenge at The Camp Transformation and it spearheaded me to where I am in my journey today. To tell you that I started that first challenge with a different mindset than all the years before would be a lie. I went into the program at the time not looking to build a habit but just to lose 20lbs. I know this because the second I stepped off the scale after successfully finishing my first 20lb challenge, I went to buy a box of donuts and ate it immediately!

“It isn’t the weight loss and physical change that pushes me to keep going, but rather, it’s the work I continue to put into my mental health.”

So what was the shift? It isn’t the weight loss and physical change that pushes me to keep going, but rather, it’s the work I continue to put into my mental health. I had to unravel a lifetime of trying to reach an unattainable goal, and reward myself every day I was in the process of building this habit. And by reward, I mean something as simple as a mental high-five to myself on the easier days or promising myself a good “cheat” meal on the days I need some extra motivation to get my butt to the gym. Being in the process of carving out time each day for myself, five times a week, and making it a top priority is what helps me build this habit - present tense, because I know how easily it can all go away if I’m not mindful of it.

A few days ago, I came across a photo of myself with the girls three years ago, right before I started my first camp challenge. I shared the photo with a few people who were all shook by how different I looked then. It’s funny, because when I see the photo, I just see ME. When you’re in the process every day, the change is slow and gradual, like a child who can’t tell how tall they’ve grown from one year to the next. Sure, the physical changes are obvious when I put the pictures side by side, but the mental changes are what continues to drive me forward. If you ask me what is my end goal - I will tell you there isn’t an end to this journey. It is a process and one that I welcome every day because it makes me feel good about myself.

Learning to be in the process with my fitness journey has also spilled into other areas of my life and I am constantly reminded of needing to slow down to the present moment. Yes, it would be nice to skip through the struggles of trying to understand 2nd grade common core math, getting my kids to stay in their seats during dinner time, and asking them for the 15th time NOT to make any more soap bubbles with the overpriced Young Living kids bath gel….. (whew, let’s take a breath here)…. but these moments are fleeting. They can often be overwhelming and all-consuming, but I’m here with open arms because I know three, five, ten years down the line when I put those photos side-by-side… I’ll know that I did my best to enjoy the process with no regrets.